My favourite moments

Your favourite moments go here.

Shane Hollander

Your Shane content goes here.

Ilya Rozanov

Your Ilya content goes here.

Other characters

Your character content goes here.

Notes about the music

Your music content goes here.

Notes about The Female Gaze

Your thoughts go here.

The impact of the show (positive and negative)

Your thoughts on the impact go here.

Cool (random) stuff

Found this on neocities! and wow! this is a great resource and nice idea!

Every New Yorker on David Hollander's table, matched to Shane and Ilya's timeline

Yuna Hollander's coffee table

Episode 1 (The Rookies)

Danny after the “Crave Original” logo shows up on screen:



Why is this already horny? Heated Rivalry, a Spank Me Harder original. This is like when you try to show your friend a new movie and it’s like:
- 'God’s not dead.' Are you sure you want to try watch this? I feel like this is going to be one of the Christian propaganda movies.
- Oh, come on. Just because it has God in the title doesn’t mean it’s propaganda. Plus it says it’s an objective look at God’s place in modern-
- It says it’s made by “Blood of Christ” studios.
- Okay, well, that could mean anything.

Danny after the guy who drafted Shane talks about being happy that he’s Asian:



Nothing like a white guy telling you he loves you for your race.

“Just to be clear, we are thrilled that Shane is Asian. I mean, we couldn’t be more stoked about it. Frankly, none of the men in my office have even seen an Asian before. Half of us didn’t even know they existed.”

What a fucking insane thing to say to someone.


Danny after Shane and Ilya just do their subtle facial expression stuff on screen:



Are these actors like phenomenal? I feel like the two lean actors are sitting on insane performances right now. Like then haven’t done anything crazy yet, but I feel the potential inside of them. So little has happened so far, and I'm already shockingly gripped just from their performances. I just see like so much emotion like bubbling behind the surface of this guy's face and he's barely making a face. I feel like these two are about to deliver crushing performances, you know? I just feel it. Boston brewing inside of them.


Danny trying to help Shane:



Initiate footsies, coward. His piggies are oinking for it, dude. Here's your play. I'm going to walk you through it.
First, you want to get all of your pigs into his trough. That's when you weave your toes in between his, but you want to make sure your toes are the ones on top so you have leverage. Then, what you're going to want to do is you want to you want to snap your foot forward.
YOU WANT TO SNAP IT JUST LIKE THAT.
OKAY. THE THE ANGLE IS VERY IMPORTANT HERE, SHANE. What this is going to do is it's going to break all of his toes in one fast, fluid motion. Oh, what? You thought I was going for romance? Have you forgotten that Shane has a tournament to win? I'm trying to help him GET RID OF THE COMPETITION.


Danny after they touch:



They are practically already fucking. That was anime as hell, dude. The only thing I was missing was A SHOT OF SHANE GASPING REALLY DRAMATICALLY.


Danny after Alexei:

No way. This dude's calling Ilya WHINY WHILE ACTIVELY BEGGING HIM FOR cocaine money. What a prick.


Danny when shower scene:



These are the biggest men I've seen in my life. How are these guys not single-handedly contributing to a national food shortage?
YEAH, you're right, Shane. That makes sense. This dude's built like a flamingo. This dude's got a body LIKE THE STATE OF NEVADA. IT DESERVES TO BE APPRECIATED.
This dude just made doinking his yoidl look badass. Wait, what a power trip this actor must be on. He fucking locked in, dude. The music made him FEEL LIKE L GETTING ONE UP ON KIRA.


Danny when locker room scene:



Let's play a game. IT'S CALLED IS THE CINEMATOGRAPHY good or is this guy JUST HOT? ON ONE HAND, the framing of the lockers reflects Shane's mind funneling towards Ilya. And then Ilya approaches Shane, dominating Shane's space and making him impossible to ignore. But on the other hand, would I have noticed any of that if this dude weren't built like a Russian super soldier?


Danny when first hot scene happens:

I wonder at what point during this scene my mom was like, I should really text my son about this.
You know, me and my son, we just don't talk enough these days. And if there's one thing that we can bond over, it's going to be this.


Danny when Alexei is begging for more money:

This man is suffering from madness. From true Cthulhu based madness. WHAT IS THIS CONVERSATION? We can all live without you. OBVIOUSLY NOT. YOU MONEY VAMPIRE.


Danny when Ilya’s house:

Also, this is such a super villain ass house. This is the most exmachina ass mansion I've ever seen. Who lives here? Syndrome.

Episode 2 (The Olympians)

Danny when intro running scene:

Okay. How the fuck is THE SUN UP IN BOTH LOCATIONS? ONE OF YOU BASTARDS IS LYING ABOUT WHEN OR WHERE YOU'RE RUNNING.


Danny when “Lily”:

I feel like putting Lily in quotes kind of defeats the purpose of pretending you're texting a girl, doesn't it? That's like talking in code and winking after every sentence. Like, you can either be sneaky or YOU CAN BE CHEEKY. YOU CAN'T BE BOTH. ALL RIGHT, YOU CAN'T SNEAK AND CHEEK AT THE SAME TIME, FELLAS.


Danny when oral fixation:



ALSO, having Ilia and Shane constantly chewing on their sweatshirt drawstrings or necklaces should have singlehandedly won this director some kind of award. This director understands hockey players on such a personal level that hockey players are always DOING THIS SHIT THEY GOT SOME KIND OF WEIRDASS HAMSTER GENE that they're born with and their director clearly did his research on it.
Oh, but Danny, maybe it's just to show the characters infatuation with each other while they're texting through oral fixation.
Spend 5 minutes talking to a hockey player, and you'll instantly learn that this has nothing to do with lust and everything to do with hamster genes.



Danny catching every tiny detail about the characters like a total genius he is:



Also, I really like Shane struggling with Ilia's sexual advances. In the same way that Ilia being like a funny, goofy guy and running bits in the first episode made him feel more three-dimensional to me, this is doing the same with Shane.
Shane's actor also plays this nervousness so well. Like you can tell Shane wants to flirt a little more dangerously than he is, but is like way too nervous to fully dive into the waters. Like anytime he gives Ilia an inch, Ilia rips a mile from him and it's just like it too overwhelming for Shane and it makes him like pull out entirely.
And meanwhile, Ilia is just trying to flirt with Shane, but at the same time, YOU'RE LIKE, "FUCKING BACK OFF, DUDE. Let this poor little baby stay in his comfort zone."


Danny about fans burning someone’s figure before a game:

What are you [ __ ] witches? Tell the police, Shane. These people want you dead.


BTW Danny is THE WITCH here or something! He predicted what Shane will write “Twice.” Like what the hell.


Danny when this scene:



ONE OF YOU FUCKING COME ALREADY!
In the same way that Ilia made schloinking his doinkin look badass in the first episode, this is also like sicker than it warranted. This bit is very unexpectedly hot. Just them pingponging the you come here. I like that a lot. That was sick.


Danny when “It’s You”:



That was the funniest music cue I've ever seen in my life. Ilia just got done busting into Shane's ass and the music comes in like, "What the hell ARE YOU?" LIKE, DAMN, HIS ASS WAS SO GOOD YOU DON'T EVEN KNOW IF he's human anymore.
On a more legitimate note, I maybe the song is to reflect Shane's like inner struggle about accepting himself.
I like to think it's about how unreal his ass is.
You know what? Maybe the music's just literally narrating exactly what's going on on screen. That at least validates my theory that that line connects to Shane's inner turmoil. THE SECOND ILIA got up, the singer came in with Stay Right Here. What is this song by the band Shane's Actual Conscience?


Danny when Ilya’s dad:



JESUS CHRIST. THIS GUY WON EVERY MEDAL.
WHAT IS HE? THE FOUNDER of Russia.


Danny predicting that Ilya’s mum is dead… He is THE WITCH/MAGICIAN/FORTURE/FUTURE TELLER OR SOMETHING!



There it is. Classic. Classic old man conflict. Christ. God forbid Ilya have one good thing going for him in his life.
At least the sex is good.


Danny when Sasha:



This dude looks like the emo Dante everybody hated in the 2012 Devil May Cry reboot, doesn't he?


Danny when Shane does his acting magic:



GOD, A BILLION EMOTIONS.
I don't even know a face could make that many expressions. It's like Shane's actor got early access to new facial DLC that's dropping this month.


Does Danny have a degree in character and subtext analysis? Like what the fuck:



Oh, man. Come on, Shane. Damn it. LOOK, I GET IT. LIKE, OF COURSE, Shane's easily manipulated.
With a half a decade has gone by since they've met, but I'm going to assume to this day Ilia is still the only man Shane has ever been with. On top of that, Shane's terrified of being himself, and Ilia is the only man he's able to be himself around. Plus, he's only able to see Ilya like once or twice every six months. So, of course, Shane is going to be easily tempted and like set aside what he needs for what he wants.
Ilya is just treating him like suchfucking garbage, though. And I want him to stop.

Under any other circumstances, this is really hot. Like, it's super hot to make Shane beg and then deny him and then make him wait until later tonight to get what he wants. uh like in any other circumstance. This is just some classic fun dominant submissive type stuff. But the fact that Ilya's constantly disrespecting Shane, stepping over his boundaries, leaving him on read for months on end, makes this more complicated because it reinforces the idea that Ilya is completely dominant over Shane in like all aspects. Like it reinforces the idea that Shane can't get sex, intimacy, or even just like a friendly conversation out of Ilia unless Ilya's good and ready for it. That's like the main conflict going on here is that Ilya isn't really like respecting Shane as another individual.
He's treating Shane like kind of like a video game. He can just like pick up and play whenever he's ready. And what makes this so interesting is that this scene kind of puts the viewer into Shane's shoes. Because as the viewer, you're like, Ilia is not treating Shane right.
But another part of you, as someone just consuming entertainment, is like, well, this is kind of hot and I do want to see where it's headed. Which is like the exact duality that Shane is currently struggling with. So just I think this is very well executed.


Danny when:



This is the dumbest fucking thing I could possibly comment on. No one's going to want to hear me comment on this, but this shot of Ilya goes so FUCKING hard.
It looks like he's sitting in front of an eclipse and then there are two smaller suns on either end of that eclipse. This is like the sickest sci-fi horror imagery I've ever seen. This is some like Warhammer looking shit.
This is where my brain goes when people are having sex on camera.


Danny when “We didn’t even kiss”:



WHOA. HOLY SHIT. I JUST GOT MY ass grinched. Oh god. I fucking felt that in every cell of my being. That shattered my heart. That was so fucked. What a perfect way to end the episode.


Danny about Shane’s acting:

People who've told me that Shane is undiagnosed autisticm they said that people were like criticizing the actor for not playing Shane with enough emotion even like in episode one.
I don't know like are we not watching this show with our fucking eyes here?! Not enough emotion? What are you talking about? Even before I knew about the undiagnosed autism thing, Shane was such a goddamn emotion sponge.
You just had to look. You just had to squeeze them with your eyes to see the emotion come out. That was a gross analogy…
It's there. It's so there. That's so baffling to me. People thinking that Shane was like not acting with enough emotion.
First off, he's a young dude who is a closeted gay man, like in the early 2000s, who is trying to navigate his first gay relationship with a dude who is way more advanced than him and a way more like - I don't know if I want to say aggressive, but I guess that's what I mean - but like way more like forward about this relationship, who's also like kind of manipulating the shit out of them. It makes sense that the emotions there are going to be smothered and that you're going to need an actor who can play real subtle and real nuanced.
I don't know this like this is such a fucking powerhouse performance that Shane's giving. I think if I were to critique Shane, it's more in the writing. He says ‘fuck you’ a little too often.
And again, like you could use my argument that I just gave, which is that he's immature and like real awkward and nervous, so it does work. There's just a lot of scenes where Ilya says some cool shit and Shane's like, "Fuck you, whatever your name is, Rosimoff."

Episode 3 (Hunter)

Uhm...sorry, I'm doing Hollanov episodes first.

Episode 4 (Rose)

Danny’s intro: (he’s too invested lol)

Honestly, I'm just sick of losing sleep over this stupid show. The sooner I get to the resolution of this, the better it'll be for everybody. I can't keep spending my nights STRESS SWEATING OVER MEN THAT don't exist.



LOVE ALL THE SINGING BTW!



Danny when shower sex:

Shower sex doesn't exist. It's all smoke and mirrors. I'm not saying you can't have sex in THE SHOWER.
BUT IT DOESN'T EXIST LIKE THAT. THAT'S MOVIE MAGIC. Ilia's literally drowning right now. And I DON'T MEAN IN DICK. I mean drowning medically. Have you ever tried going down on somebody in the shower before? You either need to be the CIA's most highly trained operative or A GODDAMN FISH TO PULL IT OFF WITHOUT FEELING LIKE YOU'RE GETTING WATERBOARDED the entire time.


Danny when Hudson:



Remember in the first reaction I did when the hockey announcers were like, "Yeah, Shane's not the most personable, but he is great at hockey." The second they said that, I was like, "What are you talking about? This dude seems like charming as hell." And Hudson does play shy and awkward incredibly well. I've praised him for his more like subtle emotional deliveries.
I just love anytime he's like slinging quips, you know? He's just like seems like a cool dude.


Danny when Shane is so obvious (like yeah, stop make it so obvious Shane! Danny is right):



Why are you lying about this? This is the whole reason you have him as Lily in your phone. What's the point of making Ilia's name Lily? If you're just going to lie about there being a Lily.


Danny noticing Shane’s obsession with Ginger Ale:



No way. He just had ginger ale stocked.
He definitely went out and bought that because Shane was coming over. Shane is such a goat for this drink preference.
By the way, ginger ale is the most slept on soda, and it's because it has the absolute worst PR team. Whoever decided to market ginger ale as a soda you only drink when you're sick should be bound and executed. It's so delicious and everyone treats it like it's medicine.


Danny when Ilya:



Also, in the same way that I praised this show for constantly having the guys chewing on their sweatshirt strings, Ilia just watching hockey with his hand in his pants is another stellar choice by the director. He's just out here schmunging, dude. This is just how guys schmung. Sometimes you just want to watch an entire season of Adventure Time with a bowl of Lucky Charms on your tummy and an unmoving hand on your dick.
That's just a good Sunday.


Danny clocking this scene is THE SHIFT WE ALL WANTED:



I like that I can see the character development through the romance scenes. Look at all this kissing. Look at how much more gentle and affectionate this is. Like you could just see in Ilia's face. This is a lot more like a romantic and intimate sexual session.
For me at least I feel like there's a tangible difference between this sex scene and all of the other ones we've seen them share together.
Also, it's got to be so hard to pretend to come on camera in an accent that isn't yours without laughing. Ilia's actor, it turns out, does not have a natural Russian accent. This seems like it'd be so difficult to do. I can only imagine how silly it must feel to pretend to have an orgasm in a voice that isn't yours. (RIGHT! LIKE WTF…INSANE SKILLS)


Danny when Shane wants another Ginger Ale:



I've heard that Shane's preference for ginger ale is actually somehow tied to his undiagnosed autism.
My best guess on the ginger ale thing is that it's to reflect how people treat others who act outside of established norms. Like people keep treating him like he's weird for not drinking alcohol rather than just respecting his preferences, which I assume is meant to parallel his fear of coming out and like how he's afraid people are going to respond to it.


Danny and episode names:



Okay. So, episode three was titled Hunter because of Scott Hunter, and this episode's titled Rose because of Rose Landry. Have I met John All believe in anything yet? Or is he going to show up in episode 5?


Danny and THE CLUB SCENE:



That was fucking awesome. That was like actually a scene out of Death Note. Ilia saw this member of the X Squad cast and instantly deduced that Shane would be at this nightclub. Also heavily implying that Ilia is a big fan of the Xquad movies.
By the way, I'm probably not going to play it, but this song is also narrating exactly what's happening on screen. The lyrics just went, "I'm all mixed up, feeling cornered and rushed. They say it's my fault, but I want her so much." That's actually nuts. How do they keep finding songs like this?



THIS SONG CHANGE UP IS CRAZY. They just switched from like the regular version of the song to like a weird trippy euphoria version of it.

Episode 5 (I'll Believe in Anything)

Danny when Rose clocks that Shane is gay:

SURE WAS NOT A WRONG ANSWER. THAT'S JUST HOW HE TALKS.
That's the exact kind of shit that’s always getting me in trouble.
- Danny, do you even like kissing me?
- Sure. Sure. You know I do.
- Dame, why are you being from the 1920s right now?
- Because this conversation's making me uncomfortable.


Danny and Rose's famous line:



So, does that mean that Ilia's got a square dick or a square hole?


Danny praising Hudson’s acting AGAIN! (and I’m fucking here for it!):


This is like breaking my heart right now. This is the hardest fucking watch of my life. It's going super well and it's beautiful to see Shane finally get to openly talk with somebody about his sexuality. I don't like seeing my boy cry, though.
Poor dude's OVER HERE FEELING A BILLION different emotions, and the only one it's making me feel is upset.
Fuck me, dude. His face, his wittle face is so sad. IT'S SO SAD, BUT also relieved and also excited and also afraid.
How dare anyone tell me Hudson Williams acting is too stiff in this show! IT'S ALL IN THE EYES AND THE MOUTH. HE'S DOING so much really difficult work with his eyes and his mouth. It's not easy to fucking believably twitch your lip in sorrow like this. I don't know WHO ALL THESE FUCKING THESIANS ARE. EVERYONE'S A GODDAMN CLASSICALLY TRAINED ACTOR ON the internet these days, I guess. Cuz uh this is a great performance. This is a performance so great I KIND OF WISH HE WERE WORSE at acting cuz this was a tough scene to watch. (same)



I love this for Shane. This is so great!
It just feels so cathartic seeing him come out of his little shell just a little bit here and get to openly express all of these things. He's not only had to hide from like the world, but also Ilya because of the affformentioned in episode 4 like the walls he's put between him.



This is beautiful. This is the shit I live for! Oh, fuck. This feels great. I'm too much of an asshole to fully lose myself in how good this is. I'm so afraid the rest of the episode is going to make me cry.



OU'RE CRAZY FOR THAT, SHANE! THAT WAS WILD! THAT WAS SO NOT WHERE I THOUGHT HE WAS GOING WITH THIS.
You know that scene in Love, Simon?
Love, Simon's a fucking delight. I saw Love, Simon completely alone in a movie theater in 2018, 2019.
Had the time of my life. I was the only man in that movie theater. I went completely alone and I had a blast.
Anyway, you know that line in Love, Simon, where the mom, played by Julia Garner, is like, you know, it it feels like you've been holding your breath your whole life.



That's how I feel this whole reaction series. And this scene has allowed me to exhale. I love that he's cracking jokes. I love that he's feeling comfortable enough to like have fun with this conversation now.


Danny when Svetlana ♥ and Ilya talk about Shane:

I'm confused. Is he gorgeous because of his hands, or is he a great player because of them? Look, I know a lot of people with hand kinks. I don't know anybody who thinks they're an integral part of playing hockey. Yes, I know you need hands to play hockey. I'm just saying it feels like it's more in the arms or the hips. I don't know. Praising a hockey player for his hands feels weirdly specific.
It'd be so funny if Ilia was just like: "Well, he's objectively gorgeous. I don't know about good."




Danny about Shane’s new outfit (I love the white suit omg):



Is it the fact that he's dressed like a 1960's cigar salesman?


Danny when Ilya with kids:




Ilya being good with children is so shockingly adorable. I love shit like this.
(same! like what do you mean…and SPOILER! ALERT he will be the same with dogs in the second season. can't wait to melt over that)


Danny AGAIN predicting what will be said! (like HOW?):



Oh. Oh. What's this all about? Is Shane finally going to tell him he wants things to be more serious between them?
Do you think? I don't know. It's like… Ilya, I think we might be gay. (looks at Ilya)



There's no way that just happened. Please stop adjusting the script to appeal to my jokes. (:D :D :D)


Danny master of subtext analysis AGAIN!:


The difference between how Ilia suppresses his sexuality and how Shane suppresses his sexuality is so interesting because I feel like Shane is just dying to have someone he can talk to and relate to about this.
Like Shane obviously wants to stay closeted or like doesn't want to, but he's afraid of coming out. But it's so clear that he wants someone he can talk through his experience with, especially since his first experience with a guy was with Ilia and it was so fast and it was so much so quickly and he's just never had someone he can be like verbally open with about all of that.
Meanwhile, Ilya, when it comes to his sexuality, is such a shark. He just wants to move forward. He just wants to flirt and fuck and not really think about what any of it means in terms of like a sexual spectrum. At least that's what I get from his character.
He likes expressing his sexuality through flirting and through physical acts, but he doesn't want to like stop and reflect on it because I think it'll make him sad (PREDICTING AGAIN!). He doesn't want to stop and discuss or think about what he can't have because of societal pressures. He doesn't want to stop and reflect on how he's feeling or who he wants to be with or what he wants for himself in the future. He's both living directly in the moment and also the very next moment, but nothing beyond it and nothing before it.
And it's so interesting seeing these two completely opposite methods of tackling this situation.


Danny when:



OH, FUCK OUCH. UNWRITE THAT. UNWRITE THAT LINE RIGHT NOW AND THEN REMOVE IT FROM MY MEMORY.



Unwrite this whole fucking scene. I don't care that characters are arcing and it's ultimately a good thing. I don't want to see any of it.
Oh god, imagine reading this.
How did any of you get through THESE FUCKING BOOKS? At least I can turn my brain off when things get too sad and it'll eventually just wash over me. With a book, I HAVE TO ACTIVELY DIGEST EVERY WORD AT A THIRD GRADER'S reading speed.


Danny when Shane and glasses:



Love his little reading glasses. That's adorable. Shane, no one can ever dim your sparkle. And if they try, I will murder them.



Ilya, you got great taste, man. I was just gassing him up for this.


Danny when Shane takes off the glasses:

No, no, no. He didn't say anything about the glasses, Shane.

Ilya 1 second later:



Can I just fucking do my job here, please? Why am I being punished for making commentary here? What?


Danny when the prick Alexei is demanding shit again:



STOP FUCKING EXISTING.


Danny when Svetlana is the GOAT:



That's sick. What a nice subtle way of her telling him that she knows one that Jane is a guy and two that Ilya is bisexual.


Danny when THE LEGENDARY MONOLOGUE comes up:



I kind of want to turn subtitles off and watch this from Shane's perspective just to see if I can get what he gets out of it.

Well, that was a fucking mistake. I didn't absorb any of that.
Also, he talked for LIKE FOUR MINUTES. I THOUGHT I WOULD HAVE PICKED UP ON SOMETHING. I heard Svetlana once.
I do like the idea of this, though. I like Shane giving Ilia the opportunity to just vent without any hurdles of having to do mental translation. just giving him the ability to uninhibitedly express the truest, rawest form of whatever he's feeling right now.

Then he turns on the subtitles:

This is so brutal. I feel like this scene is going to make me regret turning on the captions. Considering I now know that this actor isn't actually Russian and had to have like vocal coaches teach him the accent and teach him the language.
What a great performance. His ‘more more more’ was so good. Obviously I don't know how authentic it sounds but like for me…I felt it.



Also, in the same way that I was like, man, it's got to be so hard pretending to orgasm in an accent that isn't yours. It's got to be so hard to cry in a language that isn't yours. Like to hit these emotional beats when and where he's hitting them shows how much of an understanding of the language and of the lines he has.
It shows how much of an understanding of the language Connor Storrie has because if you really think about it, that's so fucking tough. He's hitting certain like facial changes at certain different moments of this speech. So, he's not just reciting lines that he doesn't know. He knows what every chunk means when he says it on top of having to focus on keeping the accent authentic.



[screaming] THERE WE GO, BUDDY. THERE IT IS. OH, LET'S GO. FINALLY. FINALLY, WE'RE GETTING HIM TO BE A little emotionally vulnerable here.



LET'S GO. AND HE LOVES YOU BACK. HE LOVES YOU BACK SO HARD. (I'm crying again)


Danny when Shane gets WRECKED on the ice:



What do you mean? He's not hurt. Come on. COME ON, SHANE. GET UP, BUDDY. GET UP. YOU'RE not hurt, SHANE. [screaming] WE GOT ONE EPISODE LEFT. YOU'RE NOT HURT.



HE LOOKS so concerned. He looks like a a little kid telling his parents he just threwed up in the middle of the night.



Can you imagine if their relationship gets leaked because this fucking paramedic likes to gossip too much?
- Hey honey, you'll never believe who just confessed to being gay on my stretcher today. No. Yeah, I know. It's like THE 10TH GUY THIS MONTH. LOOK, I'M NOT SAYING THE STRETCHER'S ENCHANTED, BUT THE WOMAN WHO GAVE IT TO ME HAD BIRDS living in her hair, AND NO ONE WAS EVER GAY ON MY LAST ONE.


Danny when the most adorable scene of Shane:



HUDSON, if you don't stop being such a goddamn cutie patootie, I'm going to be forced to hang up your poster in my bedroom.


THE FINALE: Danny, you are not ready for this:



[screaming] OH MY GOD KIP WENT TO HIS GAME. OH, THIS fucker BETTER BE WEARING HIS BANANAS. THAT'S CRAZY. WHAT DO YOU mean Kip came back? I DIDN'T THINK I'D EVER SEE THIS ACTOR AGAIN.



[singing] What's Scott looking at? He's looking at Kip. He's looking anxious. What's he going to do?

TOSS HIM A SMILE, YOU BASTARD. STOP hurting Kip. DON'T BRING THIS DUDE BACK JUST TO BREAK HIS HEART AGAIN. This is fucking sadistic.

[singing] Everyone's watching in anticipation. Scott look out, bud, you got the eyes of the nation on you.



Oh my god. Oh my god. You're joking me. You're yanking my chain. Give me my chain back. THERE'S NO WAY.
[laughter] THERE IS NO WAY.



[singing] Now he’s calling down Kip to the hockey ring and Ily’s like ‘What the hell is he doing?’





I LOVE THEM CUTTING TO everybody watching this go down. This is so hype.



Let's fucking go. Scott Hunter. WOW.
HOLY SHIT WHAT A WAY TO BRING HIM BACK.
That's crazy. That's sick AS HELL.
THAT'S SO COOL. WHAT A GOOD USE OF SCOTT. DAMN. WOW.
I really thought that was just going to be a completely unrelated one-off adventure. That's so cool. I love the idea of Scott paving the way for people. I love immediately seeing his influence.
That shit's so cool. That's so good.
Holy shit I feel like I could run a thousand miles right now. That was so hype. I can't believe this show is capable of ending an episode in a way that doesn't make me want to jump off of a bridge. Hot diggity dog.


EVERYONE ELSE WHILE WATCHING THE SCOTT AND KIP SCENE’S BTW:



this was a lot, but I enjoyed every second of putting this together

Episode 6 (The Cottage)

Danny’s intro:
My therapist is going to be so hyped to hear that I’m finally done reacting to this show. ‘Cause that means I can stop blaming it for all my emotional turmoil.


Danny when Scott:


That’s what I love so much about the end of ep5. You can see the influence of Scott’s decision immediately after he makes it. It’s so sick that it instantly convinces Ilya to chase his feelings. And it’s such an accurate portrayal of the power that public figures have.
Like I bet Scott got a bunch of backlash about this from people being like: ‘JUST PLAY HOCKEY, IDIOT, NOBODY WANTS TO HEAR ABOUT YOUR SEXUALITY, JUST DO WHAT YOU ARE PAID FOR. But the statement he made at the end of ep5 is so important and possibly life changing for the people that need to see it.


Danny when Jeep:



Okay, is this a fucking car ad? MY FRIDGE IS ALREADY STOCKED WITH CORONAS AND GINGER ALE GUYS. GIVE MY WALLET A FUCKING BREAK. (same)


Danny when Ilya says he’s terrified:




THAT WAS FUCKING ADORABLE.
That was so cute. That was so fucking like a realistic amount of anxious.
I love this wildly nervous energy Ilya is exhibiting right now. He’s like a little kid about to go on a scary roller coaster. He’s like 30 % scared and 70 % more excited for this than anything he’s ever been excited for in hi entire life.


Danny defending the show (love him for this!):

This doesn’t really have anything to do with the scene or like the episode itself, but here’s an update on my life. I have recently been getting disproportionately outraged anytime I see a comment of somebody saying that this show is nothing more than gay porn. Like I get comments on my videos of people being like: ‘Why would anyone watch these reactions? He cuts out all the spicy stuff and that’s all people care about anyway. And I’ll spend the next 40 real life minutes looking for their address so I can yell at them in person.


Danny about the progress:



It’s so satisfying seeing this relationship that started off so hardcore and exclusively physical become more smooch oriented. It feels good. I just feel happy for them, you know.

Danny, just Danny when “For the next 2 weeks, let’s just be honest with each other.”:



And then for the next 2 weeks after that, let’s only talk to each other in lies. It’ll be hot. IT’LL BE LIKE SEXY OPPOSITE DAY.


Danny :D:




I’m so stupid and so unfancy that for a second I thought he requested an unsweetened bathroom. Yeah, I’ll take my bathroom unsweetened with oat milk instead of half and half.


Danny about different kind of SEX scenes:



I just love seeing them have silly, goofy sex instead of HBO sex. You know what I mean by HBO sex? I mean the kind that’s hyper dramatic and every line of dialog sounds like it's being delivered with a gun to the character’s head.
Like this feels like what true happiness is supposed to be. If the rest of this episode is just them being fun and silly in this cottage together, I think it’d be a perfect finale. Is this what feelgood content is? I’ve never seen a season finale before that didn’t have me constantly on edge, praying some horrible tragedy wasn’t going to go down.


Danny when Rose Laudry is mentioned:



I THOUGHT HE WAS SO GAY HE COULDN’T FUCK ROSE LAUNDRY. I thought that was like the whole catalyst to their breakup, actually.


Danny when loon:



This is the most Russian Ilya has ever seemed in the entire series. Dude thought he heard some kind of fucking vengeful banshee that chased him here all the way from Siberia.



I wish that also scared Ilya because what a fucking insane skill to just pull out of nowhere.
- WHAT THE FUCK WAS THAT?
- WHAT? I’m just talking to them.
- What do you mean you are talking to wolfbirds right now? WHAT KIND ON NIGHTMARE COTTAGE DID YOU DRAG ME TO, SHANE?


Danny the analysis king again:



This episode is perfect. I just love the tone. Every moment feels natural and so comfortable and realistic. Even now when Ilya is telling his devastating story, there’s little moments of levity that break up the tension, but it doesn’t destroy the tension. It just serves to make the characters feel more human.
I like that Ilya gives a full anxious but kind of relieved laugh because this moment allows him to step outside of the gloomy headspace he was starting to spiral into. And I like that Shane doesn’t laugh but gives Ilya a soft smile in a way to tell him, ‘I’m going to share this kind of silly moment with you, but I’m also going to give you the opportunity to step back into that gloomy headspace if you want to keep discussing this. Like Shane perfectly lets Ilya navigate this story at his own comfortable speed. There is such an art to make conversations feel this natural and this whole episode has been a flawless exercise in that.


Danny when Ilya:



God, he’s like a horny cat. Either that or somebody is about to commit grand theft cookie jar.



Hayden on the phone be like: ‘Hey. Yeah, Shane. Uh, other than the fact that I can clearly hear you suppressing moans right now, uh, I can also vividly hear someone snuck in your glinkus. So, I’m going to call you back. Uh, let me know if you still want to catch Avatar Fire and Ash later this week. Okay.’


Danny about the angry Shane face:




Shane is so pissed he can’t even see that this is obviously about to turn into a compliment about him.



I wish Shane was like: ‘But Scott Hunter doesn’t have freckles’.



They simply must get married at some point in the book series, right? This is so sweet. This is just a good fucking injection of happiness for 50 minutes. I’ve never truly experienced this.


Danny about them being actually together:

I love we’re not fucking wrestlers. That's such a great point.
First off, they’re both already incomprehensibly rich, so they really don’t need to keep up the rivalry unless they’re like worried about their legacy in the history of hockey or whatever.
Second, it’s so wild they need to jump through hoop and invents insane scenarios to get the public to be okay with them just hanging out in the public. I feel like they can just hang out, you know, and if people are weird about it, be like: ‘Yeah, we see each other all the time before and after games.’ Like ‘Do you guys never heard of marketing before?’ I don’t know that sport rivalries are really like, but as someone who grew up watching wrestling, the idea of people not knowing that sport rivalries are at least like a little bit of PR stunt is so fucking silly to me. You don’t think any of this is calculated by their media teams? You’re going to see two grudging players hang out at the coffee shop and be like: ‘WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON HERE? ARE THEY HAVING SEX WITH EACH OTHER?’


Danny, we are in this together!:




SHUT THE FUCK UP. THAT. THAT FUCKING DESROYED ME. Oh man, all of my organs. That’s so beautiful.
Oh man, just his voice. Just his beautiful dainty voice. And there was so much love in it.
I just - I just want to fucking bottle this frame and drink it UNTIL I’M DRUNK ON POWER OF LOVE.


Danny is all of us:



This is my fucking nightmare. This sucks. I was in such a happy groove for the last 35 unbroken minutes. Why would they throw this at me at like the end of the episode?


Danny when Shane’s parents:



I like how the revelation that Shane is gay is as shocking to people as the revelation that Shane likes Ilya. I don’t even mean the revelation that Shane’s dating Ilya. I mean just the fact that he likes talking to him as a friend. SHANE HAS TO INVENT A WHOLE NEW CHARITY just to make the general public comfortable with him standing in the same room as Ilya.






No no no no no. For the first few years we were just fuuuuu-falling in love. You are correct. Yes.



Oh, THAT’S FUCKING BRUTAL. Oh God, not him apologizing for failing to be straight. That sucks. That was crazy. That hit me so hard. Being like ‘I tried, I really tried’. What a horrible thing that he thinks he needs to apologize for. That’s just good writing, I guess.



This is so sad. This is another of those moments that is both like net positive and borderline impossible to watch.




Oh, I see. That was a loaded question she asked him. That was an unwinnable interrogation. Either you abandon Shane for Boston or you abandon Boston for Shane, thus making yourself seem disloyal.


Danny when Shane's panic attack:



Oh my God. What’s happening? What is this, guys? Guys, we got like 3 minutes left in this episode. SHANE DOESN’T HAVE TIME TO HAVE A HEART ATTACK OR WHATEVER THIS IS.
I love that you can kind of see the dad see that this is coming before it does. If you look at the clip just before this, you can see the dad looking at Shane like ‘Buddy, huh? You doing alright?’




What do you call it when your heart is breaking because something happy is happening? Why don’t we have a word for that?
Like it’s sad that Shane is freaking out, but this is an overall net happy, yet all I feel is anguish.
Hearing him call himself Shane’s boyfriend and him comforting Shane… Good stuff. Really sweet, adorable, heartwarming stuff.
I love that this show takes place over the course of 10 years. It really makes this growth feel so earned and believable.
It’s so interesting to me when I see people try to diminish the toxicity of their early relationship or diminish Ilya’s character flaws. I get people are protective over their favourite characters and Ilya is obviously very sympathetic and the show makes you understand why he behaves the way he does. How much fear is involved in both of their actions.
I’ve seen people only really fight tooth and nail to make it seem like Ilya’s character isn’t flawed in the earlier episodes. And I think one way to remove the complexity from the show is to also remove the show’s quality. I think one of the greatest things about the show is how flawed and complex
Ilya’s character is and how flawed and complex their relationship in the early stages of the show is. I think that’s one of the show’s benefits and why it feels so realistic and natural. And then also, I think if Ilya wasn’t flawed and there wasn’t toxicity in the early stages of their relationship, the 10-year time jump wouldn’t be nearly as effective or necessary because it’s satisfying and realistic to see that Ilya hasn’t just matured over the course of a month or over the course of a hockey season. He has significantly grown over the course of a decade.
This is me praising the show’s complexity and the fact that so many people are talking about it in so many different layers is proof to the show’s effectiveness.